Blog, Inspirational

The List Of Baby Names That MAY Never Happen…..

baby-names

Before I start this, I wanted to set some ground rules. This is not a “please help me fix this!” post. I welcome ALL support comments and love.  This post is very raw and very personal. We are in the process of taking all the information from my care team and making the most prayerful decision possible. Please know, we are looking at ALL options. I am also not a medical professional; the information below is my understanding from all the information I have received and researched. If you have additional information, please send it to me in a private email deanna.steinle@gmail.com or direct message. Please feel free to share !

This is for all the ladies out there that need to know you are not alone. I want to share for the people that are afraid of judgement and need someone who understands. I do!

If you are like me you have probably dreamt of having a family of your own since you were a little girl. You have secretly built a list of baby names for that special day and continually edit it when a name strikes you. Do not try to deny it, we ALL do it; haha!  You start dating, fall in love, get married and naturally that list starts getting longer. You begin really listening for names you love. Then start crossing off the names you decide you dislike or your siblings/in-laws use them for their children. Definitely crossing it off!

So you can see the list is ever evolving and ever changing. It is a wonderful time in your life and a fun game to play with your spouse.

When I was diagnosed last year, my care team told me that if we wanted to have children then we should go ahead and try; then I could start treatment next year. We had a little bit of time.  The decision shortly got reversed when I had several bad episodes and waiting was no longer an option. I was further along than what we had initially thought. I needed to start treatment sooner than we expected. My heart sank.

Last fall, Marshall and I sat with my doctors and made a very hard decision to start the treatment we were dreading.. We knew by doing so, the side affects and risks would ultimately make some life decisions for us. This was something we did not take lightly. There were tears and more tears…

The treatment is not a medication that you can become pregnant on. This treatment, if it works, is also something I could potentially have to be on the rest of my life. I am pretty sure you have put two and two together by now. So my question was, “can I come off the medication, try to have a family, then go back on it ? ” The look in their eyes said it all.

Even if I come off the medication, delivery alone could put me on a ventilator during and after delivery for a while. I would potentially need several rounds of IVIg (during pregnancy and after delivery)  and the baby could have transient MG for up to 6 months. Therefore the baby would have to be delivered in NICU and monitored very closely; receiving swallowing and breathing assistance. Before baby would even arrive, all ladies have a chance of developing signs of preeclampsia (early signs are fairly common and normally easily treated before it becomes dangerous).  The medication used for preeclampsia, I can’t take due the affects it has on my illness. This would force early delivery at the time of discovery; regardless where you are in the pregnancy.

Do not get me wrong, all or none of these things could happen. There have been some MG’ers that have great pregnancy stories. Then there are several that have stories with some or all the risks above.

So at what point or what would a doctor have to tell me, that would give me peace about coming off the treatment to try? Honestly, I do not know the answer to that.

Gestational carriers and surrogates have been brought up in conversation as well as adoption. But to be honest, the feelings are too raw to even begin to have those conversations. Also MG is a progressive disease, so I will have a better understanding of my progression once I come back from DUKE (hopefully). So this discussion is on hold for now.

Where do we go from here? I am not sure. All I know is I can barely look at the list of names without tear-filled eyes. I see baby outfits for Easter and I have to sit in the car and cry it out with my husband because I know that may never happen for us. Every time someone asks me about children I feel my stomach turn into knots and grab for my husband’s hand and let him take lead to answer, because I just can’t right now.

Today is an emotional day. Today I want to cry and scream from a rooftop. But I know I will have better days. I know I will have ups and downs. For all the ladies out there, regardless of the reason that finds yourself in the same boat, know I love you and I understand.

The feelings I have mentioned in this post only barely scratch the surface of what I am feeling. It is a very complex situation/emotion that has different effects and triggers from all directions of your life.

I would like to do a follow up post on this to answer any questions or add to any thoughts I have as I go through this journey. I know it will not be easy, I know it will be hard.

What I do know? I am loved. I am loved by a loving and gracious God. I am loved by an amazing and strong husband. I am loved by my family, friends and co-workers. And I am loved by THREE amazing fur babies that remind me every day that they chose me  to be their mommy. (If you have animals you know what I mean)

Blessings and love,
Deanna
#Live2Inspire1

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Blog, Inspirational

Thank You – The Melting Pot

Thank you to @themeltingpotrestaurants for making this celebration one we will not forget. And to EVERYONE who made this one night get away possible. There are SEVERAL people behind the scenes that made this weekend happen. After last weekend (when I was in the hospital) this was something we both desperately needed. We celebrated one year of being diagnosed and making it through the FIRST year of treatment and learning!!! (My actual diagnosis Anniversary date is April 19 however this was the ONLY weekend we could do this.) We lumped, birthday, valentine’s and anniversary all in one. We laughed, we cried and talked about how thankful we are for all the people in our lives who are there to support us each day. I definitely cried when she brought out my plate and rose. Having had such a low last weekend and not understanding why this was happening; this moment truly embraced the milestone of how far I have come. We were both in shock! It was stunning! I will continue to push everyday, loving everyone around me and thankful for the many blessing God has shown us. #live2inspire1 #RareDisease#myastheniagravis #strongertogether #strongerthanyesterday #pastorswife#pastor #christian #Themeltingpot 

Blog, Inspirational

My Body Is Strong

5 lbs, 10 lbs, the scale keeps going up… As a woman, is this one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially, when all of your life you have been extremely active and kept physical fitness a priority in your life. I look in the mirror and some days I do not recognize myself. My heart breaks. Medically there is a reason, but sometimes even knowing that isn’t enough.

But then, after completing 4 months of this new treatment, I get my blood work back and the one major concern (a particular side effect) we have been keeping our eye on looks wonderful! In that moment, God sends me this amazing thought, “MY BODY IS STRONG!”

What do I mean? 

For years we have been trying to figure out this mystery. To do this, there was and still is, such much my body has to go through.  You can imagine the testing over the years and now the medication and treatments I am currently working through.

  • So much medication, my Pharmacist knows my name!
  • Nuclear Imaging
    • Computed Tomography (CT)
    • Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)
    • Positron Emission Tomography – Computed Tomography (PET/CT)
  • Ultrasounds
  • X-Rays
  • Bottle after bottle of contrast
  • Blood draws
  • Swallow studies
  • Several Surgeries
  • Intravenous Immunoglobulin Therapy (IVIg)

Even after all this, the sheer amount of radiation and medication that has been pushed through my organs and veins… my body is holding its own!! I am still working, coaching swimming, getting out and seeing family and friends, attending events even on days I just want to stay in bed; I still go!

Through it all, I could not be more blessed that my body is a fighter. That no matter what we throw at it, it continues to surprise me as the test results (side effects that we are monitoring) comes back so favorably.

My Body Is Strong!

#Live2Inspire1 #MGStrong #RareDisease #MyastheniaGravis

Blog, Inspirational

ICE To The Rescue!

(Delayed post. This event happened on Memorial Day. I have been hesitant to share, but feel it is so important for the ongoing research around Refractory Generalized Mysathenia Gravis aka  Refractory gMG)

Yesterday, I was thrown a very hard learning curve and reality check.

Since I have been diagnosed, I have noticed that cooling my core body temperature during Mysathenia Gravis (MG) flares, immediately reduces exacerbated symptoms. The reason I knew to try a cooling vest, was because of my half marathon race, pre-diagnoses.

When I would run, I would start to find it difficult to swallow. Almost like my throat was swelling, but it really wasn’t. Therefore as I trained, I ran with instant breakable ice packs and 3 liters of ice water in a running backpack. It worked beautifully!  I would place the ice packets on my throat and upper spine at miles 7, 9 and 11. It would greatly reduce the “swelling” and control the heat in that area.

Fast forward to diagnoses. We were told I was self treating without realizing what I was doing; not knowing I had MG. My doctors are AMAZED I did not die during the race. It completely goes against everything about the disease. They are so proud of me. However, they told me not to do a half marathon again, haha!

Because of this information and my stubbornness, I was not going to let MG take everything away from me. I wanted to find lifestyle changes that helped me keep a level of normalcy, as long as my disease would allow me to. How could I keep exercising, go on hikes, enjoy being outside and use the information I had learned from my half marathon and the ice?

With that in mind, we found the Flexi Freeze Cooling Vest! We started keeping it with us everywhere! We had no idea if and when it may come in handy.

As of September 4th, 2017, I am singing praises of this cooling vest! We had tried it off and on a round the house. But I never had to use it in what I felt was a true emergency.

Flexi Freeze paid for itself at 3:00pm on that Monday afternoon, when I had my first MG flare away from home with extreme symptoms that almost landed me in the hospital; potentially ending up on a ventilator.

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Once EMS rushed my husband to retrieve the vest from our vehicle and strapped me in it, with in 10 mins, I was 80 % back to my “MG normal”.  This was a game changer for me. The emergency personnel could not belive their eyes.

Here was this young lady, face showing all signs of a serious stroke ,unable to control her mouth and speech starting to slur, legs like jelly, both eyes almost completely closed; then 60 mins goes by and she is walking out the door with her husband to join her parents for dinner. No, that can’t be possible. It was for me!

Now, my ice vest is always by my side. I compare it to an epipen. It is there just incase. It even goes on the airplane with me! My doctors are amazed at the results this vest has provided me and the ability to potentially save my life. This does not work for all MG’ers, but it does for me!

All because I ran a race and told myself I wouldn’t give up! Who knew ice would come to the rescue just a few short months later?

My reality check was this is real and it is dangerous. Up until this point symptoms have been manageable. That is no longer the case and I will begin my new treatment in a week after preliminary blood work.

Blog, Inspirational

Four Words That Changed My Life

“You Have Myasthenia Gravis (MG) ” (Generalized) – April 19th, 2017

What is MG?   (Great Information on the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America Website)

I never thought it was humanly possible to feel so much pain, relief, confusion, anger and uncertainty in 15 seconds, as I did that day. I was completely flooded with emotion. I felt as if the room started to spin and I had no choice but to hang on for the ride.

Once my eyes went back into focus, from my state of disbelief, I was able to start having a long dialogue with my neurologist. I was very blessed to be paired with this particular doctor. He listened to me. He told my husband and I, this was a team effort and he would not settle for anything less than my happiness and well-being. But it was going to be a journey, not instant.

He looked us in the eyes and said,  ” There is no cure, however, we will find the best medicine for you. Everyone is different. But we have to dig our feet in and get through the worst before it gets better.”

“Worst ” did not necessarily mean symptoms, although that is also the case, but the  frustration to follow as one medicine after the next, really wasn’t working for me (IVIG DID work, but as most MG-ers know, it does not last). And my particular case was extremely confusing because we had to start figuring out what was MG and when would it be post-operative complications from my surgery, that in turn makes my MG worse. More on that in another post.

Needless to say, our lives have greatly changed as we have only been on this journey for about 2 months now. It has been a long list of doctors office visits, specialists appointments, testing…..more testing, hospital stays and infusion treatments.

I will never give up, I will never give in. It is not my upbringing or my personality.  I hope one day I can become a spokesperson in the MG community; encouraging others. As well as educating doctors, future medical professionals, friends and family, about Myasthenia Gravis and the importance of finding a cure.

#MGStrong #Live2Inspire1 #MyastheniaGravis #IHaveHeardOfMG

 

Blog, Inspirational

Be The “Upper Hand” For Christ: Know The Details

I have heard it said, it has become much harder to keep young adults and youth in church. Too many things are competing for their time and the priority is not there. Plus the social changes going on right now are making the millennial back away. Then I am asked, how do we, a smaller church, have so many generations? My answer is: We teach them. They are equipped, not entertained. Let me explain…

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Image used from “God’s Not Dead Bible Study” http://www.GodsNotDead.com

We are a small church. We do not have a rock band or fancy lights. We do not have the most recent songs on the radio playing the second you walk in the door and we still use the phone tree to pass along prayer requests. Email is being used for those that prefer email, but we still greatly rely on the phone tree. Yes, all the things I listed above are great things. I love going to a great worship service just as much anyone. In fact, I love visiting churches when Marshall has his Sunday off and we get to worship together (that is a VERY rare event for pastors and their spouses) in a style I grew up with. But is that ALL that makes up the Church?

But let me tell you what we DO have. We have a strong foundation. Our foundation is Christ. We teach the complete 360 degree view of the Bible; not just what makes us feel good. We do everything in our power not to cut verses to make them sound justified to our own gain. And we certainly make mistakes! We are not perfect.

As long as our youth and young people know, we (the leaders), give them as much information as we can and as many resources as we can, then God takes over from there. We equip; we teach. We train them to search for answers. That is our goal. We want them to think for themselves.

If we are not learning, we are not growing and we will never understand how our spiritual maturity is suffering because we are not actually absorbing and understanding facts; just concepts.

Concepts are great; do not get me wrong. But the details, that is were evil likes to fight the youth. Challenging their thinking, making them second-guess anything and everything they have ever known growing up. Evil loves the silence. It is the silence that happens when a best friend gets in a fight with them over what they believe and why, then they struggle to respond. The silence is where evil wins. When they can’t defend their beliefs, they can’t understand the attacks.

How can we battle evil in this world without details? That is like showing up to a fight in dress shoes or high heels. You will make one move to protect yourself and fall flat on our face because your feet had the wrong foundation. It was slippery, you fell basically on your own and the opponent takes advantage of that and has the upper hand. Game point.

Teach your youth. Teach them to be resourceful. Teach them to ask questions, then ask it again to someone else, then ask it again to the barista at the coffee shop, then ask their pastor. Let them know “why” people’s answers vary. Interpretation of scripture is hard, I will be the first to say it. But until you fight to understand and learn the details, the conversation will almost always turn out like this…..

Person: “Why do you belive that?”

Youth answers: ” Because so and so said it… or I heard someone say it on Sunday”

They never answer with ” I believe………, because when you look at the book of ____ in the Bible……. and then I read a book from a theologian named…… and then a  commentary from …… which assisted me to understand…. ”

See the change?

Be the change. Know the details. Grow to be the “upper hand” of Christ in the fight.

 

Blog, Running

Lets Get Crazy- Practice and Race Day

July 11, 2016
Today was a great day. I ran the Crazy 8’s Practice Run in preparation for the real Crazy 8’s 8k on Saturday. As I am training for my half marathon I am using smaller races to just have fun  and to push myself. Plus, it does a lot for your body and soul! Seeing my old running group really made this day special.

I have noticed while I was changing into my running shoes today, that I am getting more excited than I used to before a run. I now have the feeling I can keep up again; that I belong with the group. I am starting to regain my confidence on the road. It also has helped my confidence in my physical ability that we have now tested the waters with workouts and understand the limitations of my throat during activities. But the best part is, we have found great solutions for keeping my throat cool and inflammation down during runs or other outdoor activities. I also can, and have used, these tricks in my everyday life. All of these things are “Two Thumbs Way, Way Up! ” in my book!

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If you are a runner, you know that it can be very easy to start a race “too hot”. Meaning, you basically throw out your game plan, your intervals, and what pace you should be running and follow the crowd. This can be a very dangerous thing for someone who is training for a half. Smaller races, like this, gives me the opportunity to overcome my pre-race jitters which can lead to these race errors. I highly recommend it!

Today was proof of that. I did great, but due to the extremely high temperatures, we cut the run short at 4 miles. It really was the best decision. It was not due to anything I did wrong. I kept my intervals, hydrated and stayed within my pace range. It was Marshall calling it and me reluctantly agreeing with him.

Honestly, there was a time I felt like giving up as I made the first loop of the race, before I sent Marshall the text. But I realized that the things that were hurting me, actually had nothing to do with my throat (at this point). It was little things like blisters, heat, bad shoes , my water on my hips got hot. (Which does not help my throat cool down)  And lastly, if my whole purpose behind this blog is to be transparent, then I have to admit to you I was missing Marshall while I was running. He has been training with me this whole time, until this run; he is my rock.

It was weird not having him with me and being surrounded by strangers. People that had no idea what I am working towards or what this race meant to me. This was a milestone!  To get this feeling was a new factor I never thought would be an issue or that would even come up. Before my surgery I had competed in several races and Marshall was there waiting for me at the finish, cheering me on; no big deal, right?  Then I realized, the heat was making me create excuses and one of the biggest issues holding me back I could easily fix, so I sent him the text. We are not in Florida yet. This is a practice run for a training race and November is far off. I do not HAVE to run alone yet.

Marshall and I went forward as a team, exactly what I needed. Then as we crossed a few more intersections we looked at each other and went to a shaded area to escape the blazing sun while we discussed what the best game plan would be. I will admit, I might have shed a few tears while we were sitting there, but I knew “calling it”  was the right thing to do. This was not an actual race, conditions were even dangerous for the seasoned runner and I knew Saturday was my real goal. As a side note, prior to this run, my training has allowed me to achieve longer distances than this, so you can imagine my aggravation and feeling of defeat.

After I got cooled down, realized that it was not just me that was struggling, it was ALL of us, we compromised; ending at 4 miles. My heart sank as we made the choice to turn around,  but those conditions are out of my control. (As Marshall had to keep reminding me until I got it through my stubborn head, ha!) . The heat was just a nightmare. Regardless, it was a great run and I am beyond proud of myself.

July 16, 2016

Seeeee, I told you I could do it!  My race was amazing! I learned a few things on my run that I need to keep in mind for the next one. The biggest adjustments I will have to make is in the clothing department once my running hydration pack gets here. My ice pack would not stay where I needed it to, in the top I was wearing. Right now, my hydration system is on a belt and has become more difficult to use than I initially thought. So, I will be switching to a hydration backpack where I will keep (2) instant ice packs, ID, gummies, phone, my music and a few band aids (just incase).  But this is why you practice and train. You learn what works and what does not before the big day!

Marshall and I ran the last 100 yards together. He had been on the side lines cheering me on the whole time, but he met me at the end and we crossed the line hand in  hand.. What an amazing night!

I plan on doing a “Pack” update once I get all these items narrowed down and weighed. That post will be a lot of fun to write, I can already feel myself getting MORE excited since I just completed my 8k! Until next time, enjoy the pictures below!

Here are my race day pictures!!!

Watch The Starting Line! It is SO cool!

Running

My Story: Why A Half Marathon?

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As many of you know, the last two years have been nothing short of the greatest obstacle of my life. What was supposed to be a simple routine surgery to remove my tonsils,  turned into 3 surgeries, modified bed rest, months of speech therapy, swallow therapy and physical therapy. Hemorrhaging out as an adult was a risk I was very well-informed about, however, I had to have the surgery. It really was not an option for me to say “no”. Regardless of all the bad, I am still truly thankful that I did it.  I am healthy, happy and loving life. I get stronger everyday.  All because of the amazing team surrounding me.

Now, thanks to my doctors, whom I can’t say enough good things about, I have been released to do this great race and raise money as a St.Jude Hero! A true passion of mine. But many people have asked me “Why? Why a half marathon?”, so I thought I would shed a little light on the subject.

When my husband and I were trying to decide on how we wanted to celebrate overcoming this adventure, I told him I wanted to do something that covered 6 criteria.
– Had to benefit someone else
– Physically challenging
– Fun
– Location : A place we had not been TOGETHER
– Something a year ago, would have been absolutely impossible to accomplish
– But also something that I HAD done prior to my surgery. To prove, I was getting back to “me”.

It was in this 6 criteria, we decided on a half marathon through the St. Jude Hero program. This would allow me to do my fundraiser for the kids, run in a location neither of us have been together, physically challenging and it is going to be a blast!

I was first a St. Jude Hero at the Rock N Roll Half Marathon – Nashville, one year after my little cousin passed away. (You can see my original post HERE). It was emotionally very difficult, I spoke to Aaron every step of every mile. And at times, I am pretty sure he even carried me. This run allowed me to grieve. It was exactly what God had planned for me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.

When you lose a child in your family, you really do not know how to react or how to process it. But this run and raising money for the children at St. Jude Research Hospital gave me a place to keep his fight alive. We made a difference with every step and in Aaron’s honor and memory. I couldn’t have picked a better way to celebrate him.

The Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon means just as much to me, if not more. We are raising DOUBLE the amount of money to send to the children!  To be able to make a difference in the lives of these children and their families, truly leaves me speechless. In my first run, I raised enough for 20 families. With this run, it will give assistance to  40 families! I have seen first hand what this money will do. How much it means to them. Especially, in a time when all their focus needs to be on the little lives that are before them, finances should not be a priority or worry. It is ALL taken care of, 100% , because of YOUR donations.

As far as the physical challenge,  I had to do a half marathon. A 5k or even a 10k would not allow the mental and emotional battle to have its peace. That I did it. That I, above all odds, defeated the very thing that tried its best to bring me down. The bar had to be set. I had to put it to a level where I knew I could obtain it, but a distance that also required your body to be trained and conditioned. I would have to truly work for it. So we settled on the half.

When I cross the finish line, I told my husband to be ready to catch me. I will probably be crying with tears of joy, relief, pain and overwhelmed with emotion. I can see it all happening, even as I type this post. That everything I have gone through the last two years was for this. To be a St. Jude Hero, running for Aaron and all the children. To give talks, share my story and help change the lives of others. Reminding everyone, never give up. You never know what God will use your story for.

People often say “it is just a half”, but for me….. it is 20,000 steps I couldn’t take two years ago.

Please support my fundraiser as St. Jude Hero. We are almost there!
http://heroes.stjude.org/DeannaSteinle

 

Inspirational, Running

Diary Entry: St. Jude Hero Page From 2011

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Below is a post I had written for my St. Jude Hero page, the very first time I did this fundraiser and prepared for the Half Marathon in Nashville, TN .

(Written The First Year After Aaron Earned His Angle’s Wings) 
All my life I have competed in one way or another. Swimming, dance, pageants, riding horses..the list goes on and on.  In that time, I developed a since of competition with a purpose, knowing that win or loose, the efforts were still contributing to something bigger than yourself. Nothing held more true than the night of June 5, 2010 when my own idea became reality and hit home.

 The final night of my National competition the phone rang and my worst nightmare came true. My little cousin, Aaron, had lost his battle with Leukiema and I was far away from home and far away from my family. However, I could not leave the competition.  Not because I physically was unable, but  because I made a promise to a little boy lying in bed at  home, that wanted nothing more than to come watch me compete at my big event that I would stay.  Aaron told me the night before I left, “I am so proud of you and promise me whatever happens, you will finish. Win or loose, you will always be my queen. I love you.” The last words he would ever say to me before he died and big words at that. These words came from a child who had spent months at St. Jude’s fighting a Leukiema that was extremely aggressive and caused much pain, and knowing he barely had much time left. Regardless of what he felt, he found the strength everyday to  put others before himself in every aspect of his life and his treatment. 

 Aaron was the child, that loved unconditionally and without cause. When he spoke to you, he made you feel like you were his favorite. A gift that truly was unique and special. 

 During his illness  he was  more worried about his family being o.k and  going through the process of treatments,traveling , and the education of his cancer, than he was for himself and what he would and did endure. He never wanted tears and he never wanted pain for all around him and spoke of that often. He wanted everyone to be happy and enjoy each day they had.  A remarkable young boy with a huge heart filled with wisdom of love and kindness  that normally takes a lifetime to obtain. 

 I truly believe,  that with the help of St. Jude’s , that thousands of child’s lives will be saved because of Aaron. That they will find a cure to this rare and aggressive form of cancer normally found in adults, that has discovered its  way into children. 

 Aaron taught me my own life lesson. A thought and moral standard my parents  instilled in me for years. He brought it home, he  lived it no matter how bad things got. If he can go through, numerous treatments, bone marrow transplants and tests and still put others above himself, then I can run 13.1 miles in his honor to help St. Jude’s come that much closer to finding a cure to save the lives of thousands. 

 Aaron did his part in contributing to this  process, now lets do ours. Please donate for this worthy cause and support me in raising my monetary goal in Honor and Memory of Aaron.  The boy who loved others the way they wanted to be loved, the one who put others before himself no matter what he endured and the one that saw his purpose in the big picture. 

 Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Deanna

Inspirational

Spring Cleaning! This Includes Your Mind

Blog Spring 2015

If you ever think you are alone when feeling down during the winter, believe me when I say this, “You Are Not Alone ! ” Everyone experiences this in one way or another.

During the winter months, people forget how much they actually need the sun. Friends living up North, especially in PA, tell me stories about companies putting Vitamin D lamps into their offices to make sure employees get some exposure to sunlight during the “Gray Season”, even if it is artificial.

Due to the weather, we often find ourselves stuck in doors, or having days upon days of cloud coverage that prevent the sun from shining on us. Soon we start to feel down, cranking, edgy and overall just EW!

So with Spring quickly approaching us, I came up with a “Spring Cleaning” for your mind. How Fun! People do cleanses for their body to stay healthy, why not do a mental one? Once winter is over, take this day the first opportunity you can and get. Do not put it off!

First let me state: I am not a doctor. I am not a scientist, a nutritionist nor do I suggest anyone doing any physical activity without being cleared from their physician. Shew, now that, that is out-of-the-way…. 😉

Last Saturday, it was our day.  The sun was out, the temperature was about 70 degrees (basically a heat wave from what we have had the last few months) so my husband and I took an “unplugged” day to be outside. We hiked, walked, played with the dogs, grilled outside and just talked. It was the perfect day.  Now, when I say “unplugged” day, are phones are still on due to the nature of our work, however, we make a valiant and conscious effort to not be on them. Only in an emergency. If you have the ability to turn your phones off, I HIGHLY recommend it. The temptation is gone at that point.

During our “unplugged day” we talked about everything from, what the last year has been like from my tonsil surgery, people we lost through the year 2014, special events (EASTER!!! YAY!) on our calendar that are coming, what we were going to eat for dinner ha! and anything else that we could possibly come up with. I feel when we do this, it is a full mental cleanse for me and for him. Basically, we talk until you are “talked out” . And for me, literally I lose my voice by the end of it and can’t talk anymore. It is awesome!  However, there is one rule to this day. For every topic you come up with, if it is sad,  you have to counter that story with a special/happy memory that also included the same topic.

Let me give you an example:

Talking about a passing of a family member:

Talk about them! Talk about how much you miss them. Talk about how it makes you angry or sad. Talk about how you feel it is unfair or “how could this happen?”. Let it out. Do not hold those feelings in.

Counter story: Then when you are finish, start talking about your favorite memories with them. The ones that brings an instant smile to your face or makes you laugh even when tears are pouring down your cheeks. I feel the worst thing you can ever do after loosing someone, is stop talking about them. Too many times I have seen this done with families and it ends up hurting the other members of your family even more. Everyone grieves differently, but I highly encourage to make an effort, when you are ready, to talk about them. Once you are done, you will feel amazing. It is my version of a mental cleanse. Take something sad or angry and challenge yourself to end on a happy note involving the same situation.

When you have these conversations outside, in the sun, walking or doing something active, you will be amazed at how it makes you feel. The winter makes it much harder to let things out or have the ability to move past something due to the effect Vitamin D has on your body and mind. Because it is cold outside, we tend to just sit in the house and dwell on thing. This is NOT good. So take action. Do not let Old Man Winter get the best of you!

With Spring time comes hope, new life, a fresh start. Take time with a loved one and try talking about things you have kept hidden inside during the “Gray Season” and let the sunshine be the thing that warms your tears and turn them into laughs of love.

Take time to “unplug” and do a mental cleanse. Because without it, things will continue to hold you back, not allowing you to enjoy the amazing things that are ahead of you….

Love and Blessings,

Deanna